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One of the more funnier moments of our trip to Minnesota happned while Girlie was playing outside with my Dad. Bampa, as Girlie calls him, was convinced that Girlie was too cold and needed a scarf over her nose and cheeks. Erik and I knew she’d hate it and pull the thing off, but my Dad insisted.
Here’s how our conversation with a one and a half year old went.
BAMPA: Do you want a scarf on Girlie?
GIRLIE: Uh huh.
BAMPA: See, guys, I told you she was cold.
SMART ASS MAMA: Hey Girlie…want me to rip your arms off?
GIRLIE: Uh huh.
For the rest of our vacation we all enjoyed asking the kiddo such things as…
*Would you like me to punch you in the nose?
*Do you think Daddy’s a big dork?
*Do you want to go play on the roof?
*Would you like a beer with your dinner?
And on and on we went. And each time the innocent child said–Uh huh.
Of course she’s figured out how to say “NO!!” when she really doesn’t want something and of course our silly question game won’t last forever as she’s starting to figure out more and more words. ‘Cause we really don’t want the kid to start asking for liquor in her sippy cup. Okay, maybe just once it’d be really really funny.
I’ve got one other quick moment of humor from Christmas Eve to share. Girlie’s very good at telling us that she’s pooped in her diaper. We’re working on getting her to realize it’s happening sooner so we can get her on the potty and start getting her trained…but we’re also not pushing her.
Anyway, back to the funny. In the middle of my Grandparents living room surrounded by her family the kiddo announced loudly. “I Pooped.” You shoulda seen the proud look on her face as we all burst into laughter. We grabbed a clean diaper, put it in her hands and whispered in her ear that she should go tell Uncle Andy she pooped. The look on my bachelor bro’s face was priceless as she said I pooped again to him. It was a mixture of mirth, disgust and fear all rolled into one. Erik ended up changing the diaper much to the relief of my brother.
Oh…memories and stories, they’re the best! Any of you have any fun ones to share? Please do so.
For unto us a son is given!
I hope you all are feeling rested after your festivities. Our trip was busy and fun and filled with loved ones around us.
We arrived home from our Christmas trip to Minnesota last night to our cozy little house and two lonely looking cats. I am especially happy to be back in my soft comfy bed and am wearing my new awesome slippers that were much needed. *Insert contented sigh here*
One problem to report though. Do I eat all the goodies that managed to come home with us (cookies, chocolate, stocking stuffers, homemade carmels, etc.) in order to get the sugar overload over? Or do I store these priceless little afternoon goodies somewhere where I can nibble at them all winter long? (And where Erik can’t find them, hee hee)
One thing is for sure. Erik and I are BOTH feeling out of shape and lumpy these days. I guess we could say our New Years resolutions are to become less plump and in better shape. As I type here I’m just finishing one of my stocking treats. A chocolate marshmallow caramel thingy. Surprisingly yummy. I think I’ll go hide a few around the house 
I’m sitting inside my in-laws nice toasty house right now enjoying some time alone while the hubby, Grandparentos, and Girlie trek outside to visit Blue the horse, Guido and Bent the goats, Toby the dog, and a few random crazy chickens who occasionally lay eggs. We’ve had a wonderful time with all of our family, I’ve gained a billion Christmas cookie, chocolate pie, lefse, meatballs and potatoes pounds, and we’ve all been spoiled rotten with new Christmas presents. Oh…and I’ve also managed to avoid the lutefisk. Can’t say Girlie enjoyed it to much (photos to come later…hee hee.)
I hope that you all had a wonderful Christmas full of good memories made and time with loved ones. I’ll be back to blogging as soon as we’re home in a few days and back to the land of Madison. Until then I’ll still be here in Minnesota shoving fudge and cookies in my mouth until the dreaded exercise regime begins in a few days. Ugh
Hey friends! Thanks so much for your heartfelt, smart and interesting comments from the previous post. I’ve gotten “over” those yuck feelings of failing during Girlie’s birth. I’m sure they’ll return again someday…but now I know how to fight against them and think through things more clearly. It’s so fun to hear different stories and thoughts from you all–so thanks again for your input.
I wanted to mention this story I read today. I’m happy to see that Obama seems to be trying to include all groups of people in his inauguration day. Maybe he really is interested in changing things up? I read earlier in the week about a San Francisco Bay area all-gay band performing that day and I’m happy to hear he’s including people with views that differ from his also (e.g. Pastor Rick Warren).
I’m really sad (and annoyed) at the lack of support from some of the lefties…they keep saying that he’s betraying them and letting them down by having a Pastor against gay marriage say the opening prayer at the inauguration. I really think the people angered by his choice of Warren need to remember what he said at his acceptance speech the night he won the election. He’s EVERYONE’S President. Plus, it’s his big day, shouldn’t he get to decide who is there?
I also heard today that Obama is actually friends with Warren. In fact Obama even had him read the chapter from his book that talked about religion prior to having it published. They disagree about some of the big issues, but focus on what they agree with and are still managing to have some sort of friendship. I think that rocks…let’s hope that more Republican and Democrats follow that example in the months to come. It’s time to try and remember that even if we disagree we can still share some common ground.
I’m off my rant box and will proceed to sweet mushy types of things now.
I’m in the midst of crazy time here. Making cookies (I think I’m nearly done, phew!) has been busy, but fun as I’ve been baking with Will and Timothy, the big three year old boys I care for. Girlie has discovered a love of cookie dough- like her mama. And I’ve realized after letting her eat some that it might not be the best idea (salmonella anyone?!!?) Oh well…she’s loving her “Mismuss Tee” and “Coocoos” (Christmas Tree and cookies).
Last week we had the perfect snow day. Erik stayed home all day. We played in the snow, baked cookies, read a lot of books, listened to our small collection of Christmas music and were most importantly together, just the three of us. It was a very special day. I know that everytime I look at this photo below I’ll remember this day we shared. We’re expecting anywhere from 6-10 inches of snow by tomorrow morning. I’m really hoping for another snow day!
Here’s my new favorite picture of our little family. I love that each time I see this pic it tells me the story of our sweet little snow day.
I finally was able to watch the documentary The Business of Being Bornthis weekend. It took a few unsuccessful hunts at video rental places and then I discovered our public library had a copy. After two, yes two, months it was my turn.
For those out there who haven’t heard of this documentary let me fill you in a bit. It was made by former talk show host Ricki Lake and film editor Abby Epstein. Lake started thinking about how birth is viewed in this country and shares her birthing story including one child born in a hospital with interventions used and her second birth which was a natural childbirth at home. She takes us through some other couples’ lives and shows us their home births and also does many interviews with doctors, midwives, doulas and mothers.
Overall, I thought it was very well done and I learned a lot. I guess I’ll start with the positive things I liked and end with some things that made me scream outloud and feel pretty crappy as a mom.
The most informative points and the ones that resonated with me most are these listed below. Whether you agree or disagree they give us much to think about.
*American women fear birth and don’t know how to birth.
*Of industrialized nations (e.g. Germany, France, U.K, Netherlands,etc.) we have the highest maternal death rate and c-section rate.
*Insurance companies make their decisions on $$ rather than what’s medically best for baby/Mom. Birth is a billion dollar business.
*Doctors have no idea how birth works…they do what they’ve been trained to do which is usually administering drugs, interventions, and operating (Cesarean sections) when the situation gets to be an emergency.
*There is a roller coaster of sorts that many women giving birth end up riding. It’s usually something like, pitocin, horrible contractions too close together and too long resulting in the mother getting an epidural and then at the final stages of birth things like vacuum, forceps and episiodomy are used. In the worst case scenario the baby enters into distress due to the difficult contractions brought on by the pitocin, which then means an emergency cesarean section is needed. All of this starts with the administration of pitocin.
*Each time a woman has a second, third and so on c-section her chances of complications are far greater. It’s harder to stop bleeding in general and there’s much more uncontrolled bleeding. Many times other organs are under stress and need to be moved out of the way, cut around and in some cases removed during surgery, just to get the baby out.
So, wow. What a list of things to think about, huh? It was hard to see myself on that roller coaster with Girlie’s birth. But, looking at their example I see that I was on it. Mine was a bit like this.
*Water breaks 2 or 3 in the morning.
*Arrive at hospital about 8 am with weak contractions and water break is verified. Resident Doc says my contractions are not strong enough or close enough together. I’m in early labor.
*I’m in my room for 30 min. before I’m told pitocin should be started. They say I should get my labor going with the pitocin because my water had broken and there is an increased risk of infection after 6-8 hrs. of breaking. I reached that time point and then the i.v. went in.
*Intense labor for 4-5ish hours before given a narcotic i.v. drug to help with pain. It worked and I felt pretty good, although a bit loopy and light headed.
*Twoish hours later the narcotic wears off and a second dose is tried, it doesn’t work (which is common). After much thought and crying on my part the order for epidural is put in.
*I try to leave the room saying I’m done with this. Other folks in room keep me there
*An excruciating hour after “ordering” the epidural it arrives and I finally breathe and rest for about two-three hours. I dilate over that time to 9 centimeters.
*Nurses/doc notice baby has passed meconium (baby poop) and alerts NICU and informs me that they’ll be present at birth to make sure she’s okay. (E and I freak out a bit at this news. At her birth there are 12 people in room and NICU checks her before we hold her for the first time. She’s fine and doesn’t ingest any meconium.)
*Fast forward a few hours and I wake to discover my epidural isn’t working, second is ordered and after administering it I sleep one more hour (if you count sleep as being awoken every 15 minutes by a crazy tight blood pressure cuff checking me).
*Res doc and OB tell us baby’s heart rate is a little funky, they’re keeping an eye on it and also ask us if we’re comfortable with help when the time comes (vacuum, forceps…worst case C-Sec.) Holy crap…we of course say whatever is needed for a safe baby and delivery-do it.
*Finally ready to push. Push for 45 min. Doctor says I’ll tear anyways and asks for permission to give me episiodomy. I say yep and at next push we have a baby girl at 3:14 am- over 24 hours after the everything started.
As you can see my experience was very much like the roller coaster the documentary describes. I’ve always told myself that the end result for me was a healthy baby. I got the goal and end result. Seeing (and feeling) what pitocin does to you made me very sure that the next time around I’m going to try and avoid pitocin like the plague! According to the documentary, the pitocin/epidural combo slows things down–which then makes the whole situation with the time window on water breaks and risks of infections seem silly. I mean, the whole point in moving things along with me was to help rid the infection chances, but in reality it might have just upped them by making my labor longer. Sheesh.
So, informative? Yes. Helpful? Yes. Interesting? Very. BUT! Three things that were not helpful for me were watching the filmer Abby Epstein’s birth story, a scene where a French doctor explains why the American birth method is so harmful, and I also had questions with their stat that we have one of the highest infant mortality rates.
First, let me explain why I thought Epstein’s birth story was good. She was planning a home birth, but after going into labor four weeks early with the baby still in breech position, her midwife said she needed to head to the hospital. That part was a smart, safe, and good decision. What was crazy about the whole thing though was that Epstein (from what I could tell on the documentary) drags her feet and finally starts out for the hospital hours later. In the cab on the way there her water breaks and she’s definetly dialating very fast and “in trouble.” She barely makes it to the hospital, has her c-section and has a baby boy. Later we learn that the baby was failing to thrive and grow and that’s why he decided to come early. He was 3lbs. 2 oz. at birth and in the NICU for a while. She struggled with nursing and it was a bit unclear whether she was still nursing him eight months later (they didn’t say) when she’s interviewed by Lake. So…to recap, I liked the plan to head to the hospital. Hated the fact that they dragged their feet when she was clearly in labor, about to deliver a premie and one in breech postion…holy craziness!!! If it had been me, I swear if I’d felt a tweak I’d have been at the hospital in two seconds. Maybe that’s just my personality. Either way though it all worked out. It was cool they showed a c-section as necessary in some situations and that there are issues that come up with nursing.
The infant mortality rate is another issue I had. I wish I could figure out where they get the stat. I pretty much do believe that our rate is highest and I think that is because we count babies born prematurely that die in our infant death rates, no? Think of how many babies are born early or with severe problems that are helped and make it. How amazing it is that doctors and nurses in NICUs around the country are able to save some babies as early as 21 weeks. Not enough credit was given to the amazing health care available for premies in the U.S. So, does anyone know where they get their numbers from and what do you think about this stat? Is it premies that don’t live that are elevating our numbers? Is there not enough prenatal care for moms/babies which causes unnecessary deaths? Is it increased numbers of c-sections? They never really said what it was for sure, but sort of implied the c-section rate was the cause.
What most upset me about the show happened near the end. This French doctor and a woman birthing researcher (sorry I don’t have their names handy) came on to talk about what happens during birth and immediately after birth with mothers and their brains and hormones. They talked of the hormone oxycotin. Oxycotin is a hormone released by your brain that signals your uterus to contract and thus begins labor. This hormone is what pitocin is trying to copy…but it’s different and not the same thing. Pitocin is not a natural hormone, it’s a drug and it can’t produce the same actions as oxycotin. When a baby is born a special combination of hormones are released. The French guy calls them a love cocktail. It’s what helps the mother be a protector of her baby. Immediately, after birth the mother feels a need to protect and care for her baby and it’s these hormones that help with that.
I think this is cool. Yep, hormones do important things, I’m with ya doctor man. It’s the next part that made me feel like screaming at the guy and throwing things. He says (and I’m paraphrasing this section)
**Let’s take this example from the animal kingdom. If a monkey is given a c-section she’ll abandon her baby and not care for it. She didn’t get the love cocktail needed to care for her baby. What kind of culture are we creating when we perform the highest number of c-sections in the world. What kind of mothers are we creating.
At this point the video shows a woman seeing her baby which was birthed via c-section for the first time. The woman looks a bit relieved, but doesn’t do the typical cry and smile at the baby routine. The baby is taken by a nurse to be cleaned on this table. The baby is being wiped off while crying and crying while this French guy goes on and on about the attachment of the mother and child being incomplete. He ends his explanation by saying these are not theories they are facts.
AAAAHHHHH. This drove me crazy. So, he’s trying to say that because a woman doesn’t naturally birth her child she doesn’t get the special love cocktail?? I think his facts are flawed. For I am no monkey and I am able to rise above my animal instincts and hormones. I have hormones that make me snarky and snappy and mean, but I CHOOSE to hold back and control myself and my actions. (If I didn’t my hubby would walk around with a permanent bruise, hee hee). I am not an animal, yes I have similarities and I’m a mammal, but I have an ability to act independantly from my hormones and desires.
Something else I thought of after hearing this brought to mind cases you hear about mothers who birth babies all alone and then throw them away in a dumpster. Granted, every situation is different, but there are thousands of mothers in history who have not had any drugs to aid them during delivery and they turn around and abandon, kill or seriously harm their children later in life. What happened to their love cocktails?
My rockin’ Mom-in-law, Jo, was a great listener the other night. I felt, again for the billionth time, like maybe I didn’t do this whole childbirth thing right. I felt like I failed myself and Girlie after watching the movie. Way to go, Sus, you couldn’t do it and you chickened out and took the easy route with an epidural. While I know this is so so so untrue I was feeling that way and hearing that voice in my head. Jo helped me talk through it and she reminded me of something so much more important. About ten minutes after Girlie was born I nursed her for about 20 minutes. THAT was a very important part of our attachment. I nursed her for more than a year of her life and built a strong bond. When you breast feed your brain continues to secrete the oxycotin hormone and that helps with bonding and attachment.
So, there’s my huge post for today. I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated things. I probably won’t do much more over the next few weeks as we’re entering crazy Christmas time planning here. We leave on Saturday for Minnesota for a week (yay!) and the rest of my week here will consist of last minute cookie making, present wrapping, and packing up. I’ll try to post before I leave. Wishing you all some time of peace this week and not too many hectic Christmas prep times.
Oh, and please friends comment on this post! I’m so curious what people think–especially those who have seen this documentary and for those who haven’t I recommend it. I have friends that have homebirthed and I have friends that have planned their c-sections. And I have friends in the middle of these two ends, too. I’m just interested in your stories and opinions. Thanks everyone!
